


Delirium

by Musical_Fandom



Series: Bad End Oneshots [16]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi is not having a good time, Bad Ending, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Kinda, M/M, Mild Blood, One Shot, Psychological Horror, Royal's Bad End, Sharing Clothes, Temporary Character Death, very temporary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musical_Fandom/pseuds/Musical_Fandom
Summary: Goro felt disoriented. Walking into LeBlanc, it felt like there was something he was supposed to be doing. Heknewhe didn't just come for coffee but seeing Akira standing there, Goro forgot all about it.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro & Takamaki Ann, Akechi Goro & Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Bad End Oneshots [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168133
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Delirium

_**2/3** _

Goro felt disoriented. Walking into LeBlanc, it felt like there was something he was supposed to be doing. He _knew_ he didn't just come for coffee but seeing Akira standing there, Goro forgot all about it. The inexplicable anger he'd felt seconds before melted away into joy seeing the smiling boy in front of him.

"Good morning." He approached the counter and realized that it was just the two of them in the cafe. Even Boss was gone despite the fact that it was _his_ business. As Goro took his usual seat, leaned his elbows on the counter and rested his head in his hands. "I'll take my usual."

Akira nodded and began with a smile. "You're here early."

Goro hummed. "I suppose I wanted to see you..." He glared at the counter. _Something_ was rattling around in his head. He couldn't explain why but he knew that his visit had more of a purpose than that. He'd been angry for some reason. Suddenly, a vague flash of the night before entered his mind. Heated words that ended with him storming out. "Did we have a fight last night?" He looked up at Akira who hadn't even paused.

"I'm pretty sure one of us would remember if we did." 

Goro nodded. Of course. "I must have dreamed it then."

After a few moments of silence, Akira placed a coffee in front of Goro. It smelled absolutely delicious, almost as good as what Boss made. It tasted even better than it smelled. Goro wondered if it was possible that Akira was already at Boss' level. "Keep practicing and I'm sure you'll give Boss a run for his money." He smiled at Akira who gave a playful smirk in response. "Maybe you could open your own rival cafe."

"I'm pretty sure Sojiro already has me in the will." He laughed. Goro liked the sound of Akira's laugh. It was much more controlled and refined than his own ugly mess. Once he composed himself, Akira leaned in. "Want to hang out today? Boss isn't coming and he already told me it'd be okay to close up early." A mischievous grin made its way to his face. "Something about spending time with my boyfriend."

Goro pushed him away by the face, "You wish." He watched Akira's grin turn into a pout and let out a small laugh. "Where were you thinking?"

Akira immediately brightened up. "I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far."

Goro rolled his eyes and gave a fond smile. "How do you feel about Odaiba then?" He froze as soon as the words left his mouth. They just flowed without him really thinking about it.

"Odaiba?" Akira shrugged. "Yeah sure, we can head there if you want."

Goro nodded, his throat suddenly feeling dry. Why did he want to go to Odaiba? He wasn't sure he'd ever even _been_ to Odaiba. He took a sip of his coffee and let the warmth soothe his nerves. "Maybe not Odaiba actually." He stared down at his coffee. Ripples in the liquid distorted his reflection. "Kichijoji? It's been a while since I beat you at pool."

"I beat you last time."

"With my right hand." Goro smirked at Akira. "You don't stand a chance if I actually try."

Akira leaned in close and matched his smirk. "We'll just have to see, won't we." 

Goro's breath hitched. Akira's eyes filled his vision, they were unfairly pretty. He forcibly stopped that train of thought and shoved Akira away with a huff. "Personal space."

Akira laughed as he stumbled back. "I'll close up, you finish your drink."

* * *

Goro could feel Akira's eyes on him as he lined up his final shot. The cue ball hit its target, propelling it into the pocket. Goro turned around and smirked at a frowning Akira. "That's game."

"Okay show off." He huffed. "Can I go first this time? I actually want a turn."

Goro hummed as he inspected his pool cue. "Maybe... Or maybe we could move on to darts?"

"Scared you'll lose?" Akira teased. He had already begun to set the balls back into place.

"To you? Not a chance." Goro stepped closer to him. "I just wanted to give you a shot at winning something."

Akira placed the cue ball on the table. "One more game." He smirked and leaned forward on his pool cue. "I'll beat you this time." Goro scoffed and took the first shot.

Three games and three solid losses later, Akira reluctantly agreed to switch to darts. "Next time." He promised. Goro simply rolled his eyes. "I'm serious!"

"Of course you are." He looked at the dart board for a second and frowned. It felt like something, or maybe _someone_ was missing. "Isn't Morgana normally here with us?" He regretted the question as soon as it left his mouth. Of course Morgana didn't come with them to a two person outing. When would he even have the opportunity to shadow Akira on their ~~dates~~ hang outs when he had his own life going on? Goro quickly shook his head before Akira could say anything. "Nevermind, stupid question."

"You feeling alright today?" Akira put a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle smile. "We can go home if you want."

"And miss watching you fail to keep up? Not a chance." Goro shrugged off Akira's hand and grinned. "One game of darts, 701."

Akira reluctantly nodded. "Fine."

One turned into two. Two turned into four. Every missed shot from Akira earned light teasing from Goro. "You need to _aim_ Akira." He laughed right before throwing a bullseye. "I thought you were supposed to be good at this."

"And _I_ thought we were supposed to play one game Goro. It's getting late."

Goro threw his last shot for the turn, landing exactly center on the board. "Oh come on, it's only-" He checked his phone and frowned. "Nine. Fine, we'll head home after this." He turned to Akira and smirked. "Don't embarrass yourself."

Akira managed to clear it. His first shot somehow hit the bullseye despite the fact that it looked like it would fall short. Goro had to admit he was somewhat impressed, even if he would never say it out loud.

* * *

Goro went back to LeBlanc with Akira. For some reason, he thought he'd left something there only to find that, no, he had everything with him. It felt bizarre, he vividly remembered leaving his briefcase there even though, as it turned out, he hadn't even brought his briefcase that morning.

"It's kinda late, do you want to just stay?" Akira looked hopeful. A nervous smile graced his face making him look unfairly cute. "I'll even give you the bed."

"Why do you think I'd want to sleep in your _bed_ Akira." Goro hated the way his voice cracked at the word bed. He shook his head and turned away. "I don't even have clothes here."

"You could borrow some of mine." He heard Akira step closer. "Come on Goro, I don't feel good about sending you home when it's so late."

"If you insist." He tried to ignore the way his cheeks burned. It was just a sleepover with a friend. There was nothing to be worried about and yet... Goro couldn't ignore the way his insides twisted in uncomfortable knots at the thought of staying the night with Akira. The sense of dread that accompanied the mere idea of staying in LeBlanc overnight. He couldn't explain it.

"Great!" Goro turned to see Akira's absolutely beaming. The sight eased his worries a bit. It made him believe it when he said everything would be fine. "Do you want some coffee or- No wait, you shouldn't drink that when we're going to bed soon. I could make some curry! How do you like-"

"Akira." Goro said sternly. "Calm down." He smiled slightly at the other boy's enthusiasm. "Could you get me some clothes first?"

"Yeah!" Akira nodded and headed upstairs. The unease from before was long gone. He didn't know why he had been so worried before.

A few minutes passed before Akira came back down with some pants and a shirt. Goro had never seen Akira wear them before but they looked comfortable. It didn't take long to change into them. Nor did it take long to realize that they were much more comfortable than pretty much anything Goro owned. All the sweater vests and stiff school uniforms paled in comparison to Akira's loose hanging shirt and warm sweatpants. As Goro left the bathroom with his clothes in hand he caught Akira staring at him. Smirked slightly and walked over to the stool Akira sat at. "Something wrong?" He asked in a teasing tone.

Akira quickly shook his head and smiled nervously. "So... curry? Do like spicy or mild because I can do both."

"Mild." Goro stole Akira's spot as soon as he got up. "And stop being so nervous. It's just a sleepover. Besides, this was _your_ idea."

Akira deflated somewhat at the comment. "Right." He got to work on the curry looking almost dejected as he stirred. Goro had to hold in a laugh at how dramatic he was being. A few minutes passed in silence before Akira spoke up, "Hey Akechi-"

"Akechi?" Goro leaned against the counter and chuckled. "I thought we were past last names _Kurusu_."

"Sorry." Akira shook his head and plated the food. He put one plate in front of Goro and another next to him before he took his seat. They ate together in comfortable silence. A large part of Goro regretted never ordering the curry before now. It was downright amazing, probably more so when Boss was cooking although he would have test that for himself to confirm. "How was it?" Akira asked when he saw Goro's empty plate.

"It was fine." Akira gave him a look that said he didn't believe him. "Maybe I'll have to order it some time when the shop's open."

Akira hummed. "Maybe. Or, maybe we could do this again sometime."

"Who knows."

It wasn't long before they migrated upstairs. The attic was much more insulated than Goro assumed it would have been. The cold of February hardly reached them, even with the window above Akira's bed. As Goro took the bed that Akira had promised him, he noticed that the dread from before was starting to make its steady return. There was something horribly _wrong_ with everything going on but he didn't know what it was. Soon, a chill ran through his body. He found himself unable to focus on the specifics as he drifted to sleep in Akira's bed. It was surprisingly comfortable for a mattress sitting on top of a few milk crates.

As Goro drifted into a comfortable sleep, the dread from before melted away. A foreign presence made itself known in his mind but Goro was too tired to be concerned. His eyes slipped closed and his breathing soon evened out. That night, a man in white invaded Goro's dreams.

_**2/7** _

Goro sat with Ann at her favorite crêpe shop, poking at the pastry with a fork. He looked up at Ann who was happily devouring hers. Powdered sugar covered her hands and face. "How can you stand eating these?" He asked. Once again, he poked at it with his fork. "They're far too sweet."

"That's what I like about them." She put her half eaten crêpe on the plate and grabbed a napkin. "You know they don't just make sweet ones, right?"

"That's all they serve here." Goro played with a piece of strawberry that sat on his pastry. Just looking at the thing made him feel sick for some reason. He glared at the dessert as if it had personally wronged him.

"Why'd you come then? We could have skipped the crêpes if you weren't feeling up to it." Ann didn't sound angry or insulted, she was more confused than anything. Maybe even a little concerned. She gave a gentle smile that reminded him of the look Akira had given him a couple days ago. One that Akira had continued to give him whenever he said something strange or asked a stupid question. It made him angry to see the **pity** in his friends' eyes. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything is just _fine_." He clenched his fist under the table, trying to control the inexplicable bout of rage. Ann didn't deserve to suffer because something had randomly set him off. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to will the anger away. "I'm fine." He repeated more for his own benefit than Ann's. When he opened his eyes, he saw her nod and go back to eating her crêpe. He continued to prod his own with his fork feeling strangely melancholic. 

* * *

The underground mall was pleasantly warm, especially when compared to the bitter cold outside. Goro walked with Ann through multiple little shops and watched as she gawked at the merchandise inside.

"This would be perfect!" She held up a pair of pink gloves to show Goro. "Don't you think?"

"Red's more your color." Goro said which earned him a playful hit to the shoulder.

"Not for me! For Shiho!" She smiled down at the gloves. "I want to get her something nice for Valentine's day."

"Is that why you brought me here?" Goro asked. He looked around at the racks of brightly colored clothes. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression you were shopping for yourself. I'm not exactly equipped to pick out gifts for... occasions like that."

Ann gave him a confused smile. "I thought you'd want to pick out something for Akira."

Goro felt his face heat up at the implication. "We aren't dating." He said far too quickly to be fully believable which earned a small laugh from Ann.

"Really?" She said between giggles. "I thought you two-"

"You thought _wrong_ Takamaki. We're just-" The word caught painfully in his throat. " _Friends_." He managed. Something about it felt wrong. Akira was his friend, of course he was, so why did it feel like there was more to it than that? The anger from before threatened to return just thinking about it. 

"Sure." Ann smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "We can just buy something for you then." She looked down at the gloves in her hand again. "Do you think she'll like them?"

"I'm sure Suzui will love the gift Ann." Goro felt the sour mood recede as he gave Ann a reassuring smile. She nodded and they walked to the check out.

* * *

The latter half of the day brought the two of them to Akihabara. Ann insisted that Goro find something for himself so he had suggested Electric Town expecting her to back down. He really shouldn't have thought so little of her. As if a two hundred yen train fare would stop her from forcing more bonding time on him.

Goro looked around at the shop fronts, pretending to be interested in the electronics. He acted as if he weren't there for the collectables shop located at the end of the street they were on. He pointed at a coffee maker in the window and looked at Ann. "Do you think Akira would be offended if I bought one."

She nodded solemnly. "He'd be crushed. I think he'd try to fight it for your attention."

Goro chuckled. "That would be something to see." He turned away from the shop and moved on. They were only a few buildings away from the shop when Goro realized he was enjoying himself. He didn't even know why he had been hesitant about continuing his day out with Ann. He felt bad, he shouldn't have been being so distant towards one of his closest friends when she was just trying to make sure he had a good day.

"So..." Ann began just as they got to the shop. "The other day, Akira was telling me you had a sleepover." She smiled. 

"Friends do that, don't they?" Goro entered the shop with Ann on his heels.

"Yeah, of course! I was just wondering if you would want to come over my house sometime." Goro stopped in his tracks. He turned back to Ann who had a bright smile on her face and suddenly felt nauseous.

"That sounds nice." He lied. His skin crawled at the idea of staying the night at her house but he couldn't explain why. It _did_ seem like it could be fun and he _liked_ Ann, so why? 

"Great!" She placed a hand on Goro's shoulder. "We should get together soon!"

Goro gave a weak nod before he went off to search for the specific figurine he wanted. Ann followed him, chatting the entire time, but Goro mostly ignored her. He knew it was rude but he couldn't bring himself to face her for whatever reason. When he found the Grey Pidgeon figure he was looking for he all but ran to the checkout, ready to get this day over with.

* * *

Goro slammed his door shut the second he got into his apartment. He quickly locked it and threw his single bag on his bed not caring if the figurine inside got damaged. He then sunk to his knees. He sat on the floor feeling like his lungs were too small. No matter how much air he got, it wasn't enough.

He couldn't explain what was wrong. He couldn't explain the rage that felt like it constricted his throat or why it was directed at his friends. He liked them, they hadn't even _done_ anything, so why was he so angry. He held his head, feeling a sudden pressure building. Something was so _wrong_ but he couldn't explain it.

Then, as quick as it all came, it was gone. A chill ran through his body and suddenly, Goro could breathe again. He got up off the floor, confused as to why he was down there. He thought about the wonderful day he'd had with Ann as his head cleared. He would have to take her up on that offer for a sleepover some time.

**_2/9_ **

_A man in white stood in front of Akechi in his apartment. A **creature** of some sort accompanied him. It wrapped its limbs around Akechi, holding him in place. He felt a chill run through his body before his limbs relaxed completely. Part of him wanted to fight but he was so **tired**. Akechi stared blankly as the man approached with what could be described as a kind smile. Akechi knew better._

_There was a part of Akechi that knew he had to fight, that he had to break the hold this man had on him, but it was so difficult. He couldn't even move his body, how could he resist the man's influence?_ _The man placed a hand to Akechi's face, that was when he started struggling. A fire ignited in his heart, chasing away the cold that seeped into his bones from the monter's hold. The man frowned and the monster's hold on him grew painfully tight._

_"Aren't you happy?" He asked. Akechi glared at him. He wanted to... he didn't know. He wanted to do something more than helplessly **sit** there in his grasp._

_"Fuck off." He spat. Another chill ran through his body, leaving him completely relaxed once again. Everything seemed to slow down as his mind became mush. He didn't think he could keep fighting for long._

_"Then don't. Akechi-kun, you don't have to fight this." The man smiled brightly at him. "You're already so close, why not let go?"_

_**Let go.** He fought to glare at the man but his body wouldn't cooperate with him. He struggled to move his heavy body but it was no use. Not when both the monster and himself were working to keep him in place. _

_Akechi watched helplessly as the word around him faded to white. He couldn't stop the monster as its grip got even tighter to the point where it felt like it was squeezing the life out of him. There was **nothing** he could do._

Goro shot awake gasping for air. He frantically kicked off his blanket in the darkness, not wanting anything constricting him. He held his head in both his hands and sighed. He tried his best not to think about the dream he'd just had but he couldn't get rid of the sensation of that _monster_ holding him. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Goro let the memories of it slip through his fingers like grains of sand. It wasn't the first time he'd had a dream like that, but hopefully it would be the last.

* * *

Goro all but stumbled into LeBlanc. The mere thought of his nightmare robbed him of any potential sleep he might have gotten which left him in desperate need of caffine. The cafe wasn't even open yet but he needed _something_. He looked at Akira who gave him a gentle smile.

"I got your text." He said as if him just being there wasn't proof enough of that. "Are you sure you don't want to just rest here?"

"I highly doubt that changing location will help."

Akira shrugged. "You never know." He looked at Goro's clothes for the first time since he'd walked through the door and suppressed a laugh. "Featherman?" He asked, barely keeping it together.

"It's all I had!" Goro argued, trying not to sound as indignant as he felt. "And what's wrong with Featherman? I know Futaba likes it." He crossed his arms and turned away from Akira. "It's not my fault if you have bad taste."

Akira shook his head and started on the coffee. "So... nightmare, huh?" He said after a couple minutes of silence. 

Goro groaned and laid his head on the counter. "I don't want to talk about it." His voice came out muffled but Akira clearly understood because he didn't say anything else. In truth, he didn't remember any of the specifics. He just remembered the general feeling of unease he got from the whole thing. The idea that something was horribly _wrong_ when he woke up. He didn't want to dwell on it but it wouldn't leave his mind.

Akira placed Goro's coffee in front of him. The light clink of the glass got Goro to lift his head from the counter. He looked at Akira who was giving him a wide smile despite how tired his eyes looked.

"Why are you so happy?" Goro looked down at his drink and waited for it to cool. "I woke you up at two A.M. and you're not even mad at me."

"I don't mind." Akira said in a gentle tone. He leaned in closer, allowing Goro to see his distorted reflection in the coffee. He looked fine when reflected in the beverage but the real him was not doing quite so well. "Besides, I _like_ spending time with you."

Goro found himself smiling at that. He took his first sip of the coffee, trying to blame the beverage for the warm feeling that bloomed in his chest. "You're getting better." 

"I'd hope so." 

"Are you going to make one for yourself?" Goro leaned an elbow on the counter, careful not to bump his drink. "Or are you going to go back to bed?"

"I can't just leave you down here so..." Akira smiled and began work on his own drink. A comfortable silence filled the cafe as Akira concentrated. Goro closed his eyes and let the calming effects of the cafe wash over him. A refreshing cold ran through his body as he relaxed. It was nice to be there with Akira. It felt like he could let go of everything and-

Goro forcefully cut off that train of thought. His eyes flew open as he realized he could hardly breathe. He gasped for air and held onto the counter so tightly he was surprised he didn't break part of it. In the reflection of his coffee he could see something dark behind him. A tentacle of some sort looked like it was wrapped around his neck. He quickly turned around, nearly knocking himself and the stool to the ground, only to find nothing.

"Goro?" Akira's voice sounded far away and _wrong_ as it called out his name. It was the wrong name, he _knew_ Akira shouldn't be calling him that. He slowly turned to face Akira, feeling a deep sense of dread. "Hey." Akira looked worried, maybe even scared. He gently grabbed one of Goro's hands only for it to be violently wrenched away.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled, jumping out of the stool. Goro felt... _strange_. He felt angry and he didn't know why. Something was horribly wrong. He shouldn't be there. Goro felt like he could hardly breathe. His heart began to pound too fast. Something was _wrong_ it was all **_wrong_ _!_**

"Hey, Goro, breathe." Akira had made his way to the other side of the counter at some point. He placed a gentle hand on Goro's back which made his skin crawl. He rubbed in small soothing circular motions but Goro found himself fighting against it. He whipped around and came face to face with Akira. Akira tried to take a step towards him but Goro shoved him back in pure panic. He watched in horror as Akira hit his head on the corner of one of the booths. He saw the blood pool from the back of his head and felt nauseous. The smell of copper quickly mixed with coffee. Akira wasn't moving, he was just laying there, lifelessly-

* * *

Akira placed Goro's coffee in front of him. The light clink of the glass got Goro to lift his head from the counter. He looked at Akira who was giving him a wide smile. He got a strange sense of deja-vu at the scene. He turned back to the booth behind him, expecting to see blood on it for some reason. Of course there was nothing there.

"Something wrong?" Akira asked.

Goro quickly shook his head. "No, I just... I think I dozed off for a second." He glared down at his drink. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

"My offer's still open." Akira leaned in and smirked. "You can even take the bed if you want."

Goro looked at him for a moment. He was absolutely exhausted and something told him coffee wouldn't work. "Why are you putting up with this?" He suddenly asked, surprising both himself and Akira with the harshness of the question.

Akira stepped back. A gentle smile graced his face as he looked at Goro with much more fondness than he deserved. "I happen to _like_ spending time with you Goro." He grabbed the still full coffee cup and made his way to the sink. "If I didn't like doing this for you then I wouldn't."

Goro found himself smiling. He tried to fight against it but it was no use. "I'll head upstairs."

Akira nodded as he did the single dish Goro had made him dirty.

* * *

Goro woke up to a comfortable warmth on his face. When he opened his eyes, he was nearly blinded by the sunlight that streamed through the window. He yawned and shielded his eyes, before he looked around. The bed he sat in wasn't his, neither was the room he was in. Goro's tired mind tried to make sense of the information.

He belatedly remembered his early morning visit to LeBlanc. The details were fuzzy but there. He looked over to the couch next to the workbench and smiled at Akira who was still fast asleep. A refreshing cold washed over him, relaxing his body. He sank back into Akira's bed, still feeling drowsy. His blanket was comfortable and smelled like ~~Akira~~ coffee. The scent alone almost carried the same calming effects as the cafe downstairs.

Something in his mind screamed it was all **_wrong_**. A voice that sounded like his own demanded he fight back but he was _tired_. He didn't know how long he could keep this up, whatever was going on.

Goro just wanted to rest. He wanted to not have to worry about voices that screamed at him or monsters that held him against his will so he allowed his eyes to close once again. He fell asleep feeling almost peaceful as one final wave of cold washed over him. He ended up dreaming of the same man from before.

* * *

"Hey, Goro?" Goro woke up to someone lightly shaking him. He groaned and buried himself deeper in the blanket hoping that maybe they would go away. He could hear the same person from before chuckle lightly. "Goro come on, it's almost noon."

The shaking became more forceful but not uncomfortable. He gave in and rolled over.As he slowly oepend his eyes he saw that someone, _Akira,_ was very close to his face. Goro stared for a moment, at a complete loss for what to do. An amused smirk sat on his face as Goro realized the situation they were in. He shot back, suddenly awake, and tried to ignore Akira's laughter. "It's not that funny!" Goro smacked Akira with his own pillow which did little to stop his laughter. Goro huffed but soon found himself smiling.

When Akira calmed down he sat next to Goro and smiled. "Sojiro's downstairs, want to get some curry for lunch and go somewhere?" 

Goro closed his eyes and hummed. He rested his head lightly against Akira's shoulder. "Kichijoji?" He asked with a small smile.

"Sounds good but..." Goro felt Akira shift slightly. "Want to borrow some clothes or something?"

Goro opened his eyes and looked down at his Featherman pajamas. They were comfortable, far too comfortable for him to even consider the idea of changing. Beyond that, he wasn't entire sure he'd _survive_ if he borrowed another set of Akira's clothes. "Maybe we could just stay in today."

**_2/12_ **

Goro laid awake in his bed. So many things ran through his mind making it impossible to sleep. He rolled over and checked the alarm clock next to his bed, grimacing when he saw it was one A.M. He sighed and closed his eyes. There wasn't anything he needed to do in the morning so he could stay up as long as he wanted but that didn't change the fact that he was _tired_. Perhaps much more than he should have been. His body felt heavy but a strange fog obscured his thoughts. The only ones that could rise to the surface were about Akira.

 _Akira_. He glared at the dark ceiling, an inexplicable anger overtaking him. Akira was his closest friend and yet, he couldn't get it out of his mind that he had been wronged by him somehow. Maybe it was the exhaustion putting him in a sour mood but it felt much deeper than that. There was something important that he was missing. Something that begged to be brought to light.

 _He wanted to know,_ he really did, but something stopped him from digging deeper. Whatever it was, it was determined to keep the secrets of his mind locked away from him. He knew he needed to _fight_ to recover them, but he didn't know if he had the energy or even the motivation. With each passing day, the idea of struggling against whatever was holding back became more and more distant. 

Deep down, Goro knew there was something very _wrong_ with himself. Maybe it extended out to his friends, possibly even to the entire world, but he didn't know what to do with this information. Some small voice in his mind screamed to right the wrongs but that voice was steadily growing quieter. He wondered if at some point it would disappear entirely and what that would mean for him. Goro felt dread settle in his chest. His heartbeat sped up until it was uncomfortably fast. He realized he was _scared_. Scared of what would happen when he gave into whatever was going on.

Suddenly, a pleasant cold washed over Goro. It dulled his senses and allowed him to relax. He tried to fight the feeling only to be quickly overpowered. His eyes slipped closed without his input as all his thoughts grinded to a halt. He felt peaceful as sleep claimed him.

* * *

_A man sat in Akechi's apartment wearing a white suit. He smiled at him and offered him a seat at his own table. Akechi hesitantly sat down across from the man feeling an overwhelming anxiety._

_"So Akechi-kun, how have things been lately?"_

_Akechi just stared at the man for a moment. He felt something cold wrap around his wrist. When he looked down, he saw a thin black hand with spindly fingers firmly attached to him. Part of him knew he shouldn't let it be but he was too tired to really care._

_"Akechi-kun?" The man tried again. Goro's attention instantly snapped to him. The man smiled as a cold sensation ran through Goro's body. He felt himself relax as all his worries were swept off to the side._

_"They've been..." He trailed off. How had things been? "Not great." Was the answer he settled on._

_"And why is that?" The man leaned forward, a concerned look on his face. The grip on his wrist became painfully tight as he tried to understand the question._

_"Why..?" He held his head as his thoughts became cloudy. Had things really been bad? Hadn't he been **happy?** Akira immediately came to mind. "I don't know." He admitted, suddenly doubting his previous answer. Another cold sensation ran through his body leaving his mind almost completely empty._

_"It's because you're still fighting my reality Akechi-kun." The man's smile fell. "It's causing you unnecessary suffering."_

_"...Suffering..." Goro repeated. That was... bad. He held his head with his free hand as a strange feeling took hold. It wasn't painful but it was unpleasant. Another spindly hand grabbed his wrist and tore it away from his head. Everything felt uncomfortably cold as his fingers began to grow numb._

_"Akechi-kun," He smiled. "You don't have to suffer anymore. If you just stop fighting-"_

_"I can't." Goro shook his head. He closed his eyes as relaxation washed over him._

_"And why is that?" The man's voice seemed to surround him. It echoed off everything and distracted him from the growing pain in his wrists. "What keeps you fighting?"_

_"I-I don't know." He wanted to keep going. There was some part of him that couldn't accept-_

_"I could help you." The man's voice echoed. "If you'll let me."_

_Goro considered. He was tired. So, so, **tired**. He couldn't do this forever, wouldn't it be better to **give in?** ~~A quiet voice in his head screamed in protest.~~ His doubts were swiftly silenced by the overwhelming cold that swept through his body. His thoughts became frozen in the ice that occupied every part of his body._

_"What do you say Akechi-kun?_ _**Let me help you.** "_

_Goro hesitated. He sat in silence for a second before he slowly nodded. "Please." The word was so quiet that he almost couldn't hear himself. He opened his eyes to see the man's wide grin. The uncomfortable feeling from before grew more intense until it suddenly stopped._

_"This won't take long, don't worry." The man said pleasantly before pain exploded in Goro's head. He heard himself scream as something was **ripped** out of him._

* * *

Goro woke up feeling... different. Happier. It felt like a weight had been lifted. He got out of bed, trying to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest.

As he got ready for the day, he heard a knock on the door. He grabbed a hair tie and swept his knotted hair into a ponytail, resolving to brush it out after, before he went to greet whoever was waiting for him. When he opened the door, he was greeted with a bright smile from Kasumi.

"Good morning Goro-senpai!" Goro just stared for a moment while his mind caught up with him. She took that as a sign to continue on. "I was in the area so I decided to stop by-" She paused for a second and looked at his fairly messy state. Her smile fell. "I didn't wake you up did I?"

Goro shook his head. "No, you're fine." He smiled. "I was getting just ready."

She smiled once again. "That's a relief." They stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments before Goro finally spoke up.

"Did you want to come in?" He asked. 

"Oh, thank you!" She stepped into Goro's apartment and quickly took her shoes off. She placed them off to the side before she looked at him, waiting for something.

Goro gestured at his table. A flash of a man in white ran through his mind but he shoved it down. Now wasn't the time for that. "You can have a seat if you want. I'll be out in a moment, I just need to change."

Kasumi took a look at his pajamas and suppressed a giggle. "I didn't know you liked Featherman."

He turned away to hide the way his cheeks heated up. "It's a good show." He argued, trying his best not to sound like a child. "Just because you and Akira don't get it-"

"I didn't mean to insult you senpai," She sounded amused but apologetic. "It's just surprising is all."

Goro hummed before hiding himself away in his room. He grabbed out the same warm outfit he'd been wearing since the new year and changed quickly so that Kasumi wouldn't be stuck waiting in his kitchen. When Goro caught himself in the mirror he realized that his hair looked just fine. He ran his hand through it and didn't find a single tangle. Maybe, it hadn't been as bad as he thought? He shrugged it off and left to entertain his guest.

Kasumi looked somewhat conflicted when Goro came out. She fidgeted with her hands on the table and had a nervous energy to her. Once she noticed Goro's presence, she brightened up.

"Something wrong?" He asked as he took the seat across from her.

She shook her head and gave a nervous smile. "Not at all!" Her eyes darted around the room and landed on the fridge behind Goro. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No I-"

"Let me make you something! It's the least I can do for intruding like this." Before he could answer she got up and walked over to the fridge.

"I don't have that much in there-"

"What are you talking about?" He turned to see Kasumi looking at his fully stocked fridge. Fully stocked? He felt confused, why did he have so much food? He lived alone and never even cooked anything beyond instant meals. "Do you like scrambled eggs?"

"Yes?" Goro watched Kasumi's face brighten as she pulled out some milk and a carton of eggs. "I'm sorry, I must have forgotten that I restocked recently." It felt _wrong_. **_Fake._**

"That happens to me sometimes." Kasumi grabbed out a pan and got to work. "Sometimes I'll think I'm out of something then, poof! It's right there."

"That sounds a bit unnerving." 

"Not really. My parents are good at staying on top of things like that." She paused for a second, looking at the eggs. "But I guess you live alone, don't you Goro-senpai?" She added some milk to the pan. "It must get lonely."

"Not really." Goro rested his head on the back of his chair. "I'm usually at LeBlanc or with one of the-" He paused for a second as his brain seemed to reset itself. "I'm usually at LeBlanc or out with a friend."

"You spend a lot of time with Akira, right?" She asked shyly. She grabbed down two plates and evenly divided the eggs before bringing them over to the table. "There was something I wanted to ask you about."

"What would that be?" Goro took his first bite and abruptly remembered that Kasumi couldn't cook. He politely smiled as he ate the incredibly bland eggs.

"Do you..." She looked down at her plate, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. "Do you know what kind of flowers he would like?"

"Well he likes the color red." Goro rested his head in his hands as he thought. He suddenly felt something bitter rise in his chest. He couldn't explain the feeling or identify exactly what it was but he new it was unpleasant. "I assume simple roses would get your message across nicely."

"What?!" Kasumi's entire face turned red. "N-no! It's not like that!" She shook her head. "I just wanted to give them as a thank you for everything he's done for me!"

Goro hummed as the bitter feeling died down. "I'm sorry, I don't know much about flower language." He took another bite of his breakfast, instantly regretting it. "Try going to Rafflesia. Akira works there but only Tuesdays. You should be fine to go tomorrow."

"Thank you so much Senpai!" Kasumi flashed Goro a kind smile.

"No problem." Goro pushed his mostly untouched plate off to the side. As he did, he noticed that Kasumi's plate was empty. "I'm happy to help."

Kasumi stood up and grabbed her plate. "I really do appreciate your help!" She paused for a moment, looking confused before she smiled again. "We should hang out more often senpai."

Goro nodded. "We should." He watched her bring her dish to the sink and stood up. "I can take care of those."

"No, I insist-"

"It's fine Su-" Something was _wrong_. A sharp pain shot through his head as all the air left his lungs. It was all **_wrong._**

"Senpai?" Kasumi stepped towards him looking concerned. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as a cold feeling washed over him. The pain quickly left, leaving Goro gasping for air.

"I-I'm fine." He gave a weak smile and shook his head. "Don't worry, it happens." Kasumi gave him a skeptical look. "Really, it's fine Kasumi."

She reluctantly nodded. "If you say so." She went over to the table and grabbed his food to dispose of. "Are you done with this?"

"I don't have a big appetite after I wake up." He lied. She nodded and gave him a gentle smile.

"I'll take care of the dishes." She said, leaving no room for argument. Goro just let her, suddenly not in the mood to fight. He felt _exhausted_ after whatever the hell had just happened.

Kasumi didn't stay long after she finished the dishes. Once she said goodbye he made sure to lock the door behind her. Almost immediately after, he collapsed on his bed. He didn't have anywhere to be, resting for a few more hours couldn't hurt.

**_2/13_ **

Goro walked into LeBlanc feeling more tired than usual. The hollow feeling in his chest refused to go away. It felt as if someone drilled a large hole in his heart.

"Good morning." Goro looked up when he heard Akira's voice. He suddenly regretted not putting more effort into his appearance before he left his apartment. Akira looked amazing ~~as usual~~ which only left Goro feeling like a slob. "What can I get for you?"

Goro took his usual seat at the counter. "I'll have my usual." He smiled at Akira, feeling somewhat energized just by being in the boy's presence. 

Akira nodded and started on the drink. Goro watched him with more interest than usual. Something about the way he moved today was fascinating. Goro watched his fluid movements as he worked the siphon. The way he paused to assess what to do next to make sure Goro would like what was given to him. The cute way he pursed his lips as he decided how much sugar and cream to add. It was all so much more attention grabbing than it should have been.

Akira placed the coffee in front of Goro and flashed him a brilliant smile. His breath hitched. He looked away and wondered what was wrong with him today.

"You okay?" Akira asked. He leaned in closer. "You seem distracted."

"I'm fine Akira." Goro crossed his arms and turned his gaze to his coffee, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Akira. There was something wrong with him today. 

"Good to hear." A light hand on his shoulder chased away some of the emptiness in Goro's chest. He unconsciously leaned into the touch before he moved away, cursing himself. He was sure he could feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Goro grabbed his coffee and took a sip, focusing on how it burned as it went down his throat. It served as a minor distraction from Akira and whatever affect the boy was having on him today.

"So..." Akira started. Goro put his coffee down and looked at him. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today?" He leaned closer until Akira's face filled his vision. "Sojiro's off today and told me I could close early if I wanted to."

"Something about spending time with your boyfriend?" Goro asked in a tone he hoped came off as light-hearted.

Akira leaned back and started laughing. "Something like that." He smirked. "So, what do you say?"

"A tempting offer but..." Akira placed his hand on the counter, it slightly overlapped with Goro's. Once again, some of the emptiness in his chest was filled by Akira's presence. "You're doing this on purpose." He mumbled as he looked away. He could see Akira's smirk out of the corner of his eye.

"What was that Goro?"

"I said I have plans today." Goro stood up and downed the rest of his coffee, ignoring how much it hurt. He slammed the cup down and smiled. "Maybe some other time."

He all but ran out of the cafe, trying very hard not to think about how disappointed Akira looked.

* * *

"Pick up dammit." Goro growled at his phone. He glared at it as it rang.

"Hey Goro." Ann's cheerful voice came over the speaker. He could practically hear her smiling.

"Can we meet somewhere?" Goro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's... urgent."

"Oh yeah. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just really need to talk to someone. It's about Akira."

Goro heard a small gasp on the other end of the phone. He was suddenly regretting all the choices that led him to this point. "I'll be over in ten minutes."

Before he could protest or take it back, the line went dead. Goro leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. This was fine. He closed his eyes as a refreshing cold washed over him. It was _fine_. He tried once again to ignore how empty his chest felt.

True to her word, Ann arrived ten minutes after the call. Goro would be impressed if he weren't so mortified. A light knock on the door alerted him to her presence. "Goro!" She called. She sounded far too excited. After a few seconds the knocking became more forceful. "Goro!"

Goro stayed silent hoping she'd go away if he didn't say anything. Once again he underestimated her determination when it came to her friends, or maybe just when it came to him.

"I'm coming in!" She called as he heard the front door open. He cursed himself for not locking it as soon as he walked through the door. Then again, he had no reason to lock his door. It's not like anyone would break in. He was certain of that although he wasn't entirely sure _why_. "What are you doing on the floor?"

Goro looked up at Ann, lamenting how pitiful he must have looked. He certainly felt it. He shook his head and looked away. "I don't know." He grabbed at his chest through his shirt and frowned. "There's something wrong with me Ann."

Ann kneeled down to his level and put a hand on his shoulder. Unlike Akira, it did nothing to fill the gaping void in his heart. The smile she gave was comforting though. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong. Just tell me what happened."

"I think... I _like_ him." Goro frowned and pulled his knees to his chest. "It feel like- like I'm missing something when he's not around."

"You have it bad, huh?" Goro just stared at Ann. Deep down, he knew this wasn't just some crush. This was something much more serious. Much more threatening. He was **_terrified_** but he didn't know what to do. Goro felt like he was walking on a tightrope, hardly keeping his balance. If he acted on whatever he felt towards Akira, he'd be plunged into an abyss he could never leave. No matter how hard he would fight, he'd never be able to claw his way out. "So, what are you going to do?"

What _was_ he going to do? His dream from a few nights ago ran through his mind. The _help_ that the man offered, that he **_accepted_ _._** Wasn't this what he wanted? It was what he had asked for yet there was still some impossibly small part of him trying to fight. An ember that refused to let itself be snuffed out by anything less than Akira. Goro pulled his knees even closer and realized he was shaking. He shook his head before hiding his face.

"I don't know what to do."

Ann pulled him into a tight hug. Goro felt himself relax against her. Her presence wasn't as powerful as Akira's, it could never be, but it still helped. "I think you and Akira could be really happy together." Was that what he was after?

**_2/14_ **

Goro walked into LeBlanc, holding a small box. He was amazed that he hadn't destroyed the poor thing with the death grip he had on it.

"You're in early." Akira said the second he walked through the door. It was just the two of them in the cafe. Goro realized that the occurrence was becoming alarmingly frequent. Akira gave Goro a smile that made his heart stop. His breath caught in his throat and he thought he might be sick from all the butterflies in his stomach. "What's in the box?"

Goro looked down at his hands. A simple black box with a red ribbon. Ann had assured him that Akira would love it. He quickly shoved the box into Akira's chest and looked away. He heard a pained huff as he pulled his hands away. "I spent all day on it yesterday." He mumbled. After a second of silence, Goro hesitantly looked back at Akira who still had a look of complete shock on his face. "Akira?" He stepped forward.

Akira blinked and looked down at the box that was still pressed against his chest. "What-"

"Open it."

Akira did as he was told and placed the box down on the counter to see what was inside. "Chocolates?"

"You know what day it is, right?" Goro sat down in his usual spot and leaned forward hoping that he wasn't giving away how nervous he was. "Well, what do you-"

"I love you." Akira grabbed Goro's hands and gave a dazzling smile. "Goro... I love you."

Something seized in Goro's chest. With Akira holding his hands he felt both better and worse than he had in a long time. It wasn't too late to back out. His mind screamed to leave but a cold sensation silenced all the protests. Slowly, Goro leaned forward, ignoring how the counter dug painfully into his abdomen. He closed his eyes as his lips met Akira's. The clawing emptiness in his heart was gone, now entirely filled by Akira's presence.

Akira kissed him back. Suddenly, Goro was overcome by euphoria. He deepened the kiss, feeling much more _alive_ than before. His doubts and worries disappeared along with the voice that cried out in the back of his mind. The silence was wholly welcomed.

When Goro pulled away, he gasped for air. He hadn't realized how long they'd been kissing until his lungs started burning. He slowly backed away, far enough to see Akira's entire face. He looked just as dazed as Goro felt.

"Let's go upstairs." Akira suddenly said after a couple seconds of silence. Goro nodded and headed for the stairs, noticing how Akira went to lock the door before he joined him. He didn't doubt that Boss had left him with a similar arrangement to most other days. Time with his _boyfriend_. Of course.

Akira came up the stairs shortly after Goro did. He found Goro sitting on the bed waiting for him. "We should talk." He said as he crossed the room.

Goro smiled at him and pulled him forward as soon as he was close enough to reach. "What is there to talk about?" He murmured. He smirked when he saw Akira's face heat turn red.

"How long have you-"

"I realized it yesterday." He dragged Akira onto the bed and pulled him close. He began to kiss his neck, getting small noises from Akira. He spoke between kisses, "But I've... I've had... feelings... for so much longer." He didn't know how long. Part of him wanted to say since they met, part of him argued it was since November, and the least convincing said it was since the third. It didn't matter though. All that mattered was that he had these feelings and that they were _real_. They were _his_ just like Akira was _his_.

"Goro-" Akira gasped as Goro continued to kiss him. "I love you." He grabbed one of Goro's hands tight. "I love you so much."

Goro chuckled slightly and pulled away. "So you've said." He gazed at Akira lovingly and went in for another. When their lips met, it felt amazing. This time there was no counter between them. There was _nothing_ between them.

Goro could feel Akira grab his hair. He gasped slightly when Akira pulled it. Goro slipped his hand down Akira's shirt but felt a hand grab his wrist. When they parted, Akira gave him a nervous smile.

"Not today." He let go of Goro's wrist and turned away. "I'm not-"

"It's fine." Goro caressed his cheek and gently guided his attention back to himself. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Akira pulled Goro into an embrace. Goro melted against his side as Akira began to stroke his hair. "I think... I've loved you for a long time." Akira whispered.

Goro pulled him ever closer and smiled. "I love you so much Akira."

Akira smiled wide and went in for another kiss.

* * *

Goro laid in bed with Akira. The chocolates from that morning still sat downstairs but those could be dealt with some other time. There were much more pressing issues, like Akira's tight hold on Goro's waist. Akira had just fallen asleep and he looked absolutely adorable. Goro smiled down at him and ran his hand through his hair before he readjusted himself to a better position.

He was comfortable. In Akira's bed, borrowing his pajamas yet again, with the boy himself clinging to him in sleep, he was comfortable and content. Goro closed his eyes and smiled. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly happy. As he fell asleep with his boyfriend, the younger boy's warmth reminded him that things would be just as wonderful for a long time.


End file.
